Emily Howitt

Do you ever feel like you just suck? Like you can't do anything right? Like everyone is better at you at everything, including sucking? I mean, I literally feel bad for feeling bad sometimes. There are people with way worse situations in the world than I have, and probably worse then you have. But I'm here to tell you that no matter how much you think you suck, you can't keep thinking that. Let's get one thing straight here. You may not like what I'm going to say, but guess what. You're not a vampire, a robot, or a highly advance organism. You are human. *gasp* It's true. You're human. You are not perfect. Even if you think you're perfect, you're not. So stop beating yourself up for not doing something as impossible as being perfect! You need to be your own best friend in life. So wait. You're telling me I'm now so pathetic and lonely I have to pretend that I'm my best friend?  Well, not exactly. It essentially means you need to t...

1. Stay up late, then wonder why you're so tired for your 9am class. 2. Watch YouTube videos instead of working on your essay, then wonder why you have no time. 3. Don't say a single word in seminar, then wonder why your participation mark is so low. 4. Avoid making eye contact with anyone, then wonder why you have no friends. 5. Play addictive iPad games instead of reading, then wonder why you can never finish books for your class. 6. Eat cake every night just because you can, and wonder why the washer shrunk your cloths.  7. Go out drinking all night on a Tuesday, then wonder why your Wednesday lecture makes no sense. 8. Don't think about your school work, because if you don't think about it, then it's not real and your Professor won't fail you. 9. Pretend to do your school work, and take a break every five minutes, then wonder why it takes you two hours to read one page. 10. Have sex in a public bathroom without locking the door, then wonder...

I was originally going to title this post: "How Do You Come Up With Ideas". But I figured since I'm going to write about how I came up with an idea, it made more sense to title the post: "How I Come Up With Ideas". So why, you ask, am I going to talk about coming up with ideas? Well, because I came up with an idea in a really random way last week and I wanted to see if there was anyone else out there like me. Also, I feel like a lot of people want to know how to come up with ideas. Just Google it, and you'll find plenty, (note: do not actually Google "it"). Anyway, last week I was in a lecture (at University), and I was extremely bored. I can't really blame it all on the professor though, because I was also super tired, and probably just about any subject would have bored me. Anyway, I started to think about what would happen if someone with a gun burst in through the door, like how people would react to it. Then I thought about what would ...

Sleeping is for the weak! Today in this crazed world of ours there is no reason, nor no time, not even one second to waste on the dreaded evil called sleep! In this article you will learn about the evils of the cloaked monster waiting in your bed. Yes! In your actual bed! Read on, young one, to learn about one of societies greatest evils. Sleeping is promoted as being "healthy" and "good for you". Yeah, I bet next your gonna tell me that doughnut isn't "healthy" either. I mean honestly, they expect us to believe that lying in bed for eight hours doing absolutely nothing, is healthy? No wonder people are fat. If we moved all night long  no one would be fat anymore. But no, we have to rest our brains. Does the heart need resting? Do the lungs need resting? No. They work all the time, and they're just fine. I think the people who tell us sleep is healthy, just have deals with all the mattress companies.  One of the evils sleep bestows on peopl...

So apparently if you look almost anywhere on the internet about losing weight, there are a bunch of people telling you if you want to lose weight you absolutely must cut carbs (carbohydrates, for all you who don't use short forms) completely from your diet. In other words, carbs are the reincarnation of the devil designed to make you fat. Even supposedly healthy carbs like oatmeal, and whole grains, are just evil carbs pretending to be healthy. Some will even say you can eat as many calories as you want (I wish), and still lose weight, as long as you don't eat any of the dreaded "c" word. Seriously? Come on, people! Losing weight is supposed to be about becoming healthy, fit, and happy. Not trying to look like a skeleton with flesh who doesn't enjoy eating because all they do is worry about how fat something will make them. Okay, I know some of you are probably thinking, but what if they do like not eating carbs?  Well, let's think for a minute about w...

You may be thinking as you look out your window, it's summer time. It's still warm. Why is she going to talk about fighting off the cold and staying warm?  Well yes, it's true that it is still very warm out people, but that's how the cold wants you to think. It wants to lull you into a false sense of security. Making you think it's not going to be cold for a long, long time. Maybe never. But it will get cold, mighty cold, again. Which is why you need to learn how to fight against the cold, and win. 1. Blankets. Blankets are your best friend, and the cold's worst enemy. Sure, you can use things like a measly heater , but what happens when the power goes out? You also can't carry a heater around your house with you. But with blankets, you can take them anywhere, and you can wrap yourself up so tight that you can't move a muscle, and have to roll or waddle around your house. But are you cold? I didn't think so. 2. Heaters. Despite the cold's obv...

Canada Day is a holiday to celebrate living in Canada, and to celebrate the country in general. But, no one said you couldn't have a little fun and celebrate at the same time. So, if you know someone who's not too fond of celebrating Canada, or you just don't like them, follow these tips and have an awesome Canada Day! 1. Say "eh?" at the end of every sentence. Example: "I like your shirt, eh? Where did you get it, eh? Can I touch it, eh? No, I don think the fact that I want to touch your shirt is creepy, eh?" 2. Wear red and white, but also wear a flag as a cape, or something that has a Canada print on it. Then run around saying, "I am Super Canada Man/Woman! I have the ability to withstand cold temperatures, drink high quantities of alcohol, and devour beaver tails!" 3. Spell Canada as C-a-n-a-d-eh? You don't necessarily have to wait for someone to ask you how to spell it either. You can just run around spelling it whenever you l...

Obsession. We all know how we can get about things, or people, sometimes. Sometimes we just go a little crazy for something. So if you're not sure if your're obsessed, take a look at these warning signs. However, if you're truly obsessed, I can't guarantee you'll recognize them. 1. If it's a person you're obsessed with, you stalk their online presence, and sometimes real life presence, everywhere. Before, if you weren't near a person, you couldn't stalk them, but thanks to the invention of the internet, you can stalk people without ever leaving your home! If you constantly look at this person's twitter, Facebook, and even check to see if they have Myspace (who still uses Myspace?), then chances are you're obsessed! 2. If it's a thing you're obsessed with, like gnomes, you carry it around with you everywhere. Do you have a "good luck charm" that you carry with you everywhere? Come on, we all know that thing hasn't b...

Fathers are important to children. They make you feel happy when you're sad. They drive you places. They give you money, and they hold a gun to any guy you bring home so you'll never be married until they die. That is, if they don't haunt you from the dead. But that's okay, because they love you and you love them. So lets look at how you can pay them back. Hint: take this post with a grain of salt. A large grain of salt. 1. Get them up bright and early at four am. Fathers should get to sleep in on Father's Day? Who told you that? You'd be wasting perfectly good compulsory time spent together. In fact, why not get them up at three am! 2. Make them a breakfast of champions. Eggs, bacon, and toast? No! That stuff is filled with heart clogging goodness. You want your dad to be around for a long time. Make them an egg white omelet with nothing else, three leaves of spinach for a salad (no fatty-fat dressing), and a protein shake made with lots of green leafy ve...

Hey all! This post is slightly exaggerated. Most people have a dog. I myself have one named Roy, but I am especially lucky because my dog is five animals rolled into one! He is part squirrel, bat, pig, cat, and is of course a dog. How does this happen, you say? He looks like an ordinary dog in the picture? It seems that way my friends, but it is not. I assure you he is five animals in one. When he was but a wee little puppy, he cohabited with the squirrels in the backyard and was accepted as their kind. He resembles a bat as he leaps from the couch to the floor in a swoop, and flings himself off the back of a five foot chair. He goes pig on walks, snorting and sniffing the air while sloshing through mud puddles coating himself in it. In his leisure at home, he will lie on the floor and clean his face as a cat would and will climb trees and lie contentedly in the sun. He is of course also a dog and has various dog characteristics such as barking and marking territory. ...