Twitter Rant
Just a warning, this
post is very ranty. Okay, it is a rant. But perhaps you have some similar
feelings about twitter and marketing in general. Also, sorry about the long
block of text, but it is a rant…
Twitter gives me headaches. Actually all the marketing in
general does. Do this. Don’t do that. For fuck’s sake don’t tweet about your
dog if it’s not related to your brand. But wait! Don’t only tweet promotion
stuff. Because people want real
connections. And by real, only
connect with people who might buy the stuff your trying to sell. And only if it
relates to your personal brand. Never talk about anything that isn’t related to
your brand and your audience, because, you know, if you don’t the marketing gods
will send thunderbolts to your house to punish you for your twitter sins. And
god help you if you don’t know who your audience is. Because it’s so easy to
tell if someone on twitter will like your book or whatever you’re selling.
Because if people like something, they definitely tweet about it all time.
Like, all the time. It’s not like
people have interests outside of what they say in 140 characters. And then
there’s the accounts that are all OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You’ll never guess what
she did after her boyfriend called her fat!!!!! Let me guess!!! She used the
shitty product you’re trying to sell!!! Then there’s like fifty different
accounts that link to the same article twenty times a day, yet each account
seems to have thirty thousand followers so can’t help but wonder if they’re
doing something right. Then there’s the fav or retweet if you’d wear this
people. Let’s not forget the buy more followers!!!! people. Only
$29.99!!!!!!!!! (Didn’t we make owning people illegal!!?? Like where do they come from??? Are they fake
accounts?? Hacked accounts?? People with absolutely no life, who just thought, hey,
why not let my twitter account be sold to some random person who I’ll probably
never care about??) Then the people who tweet nothing but “retweet if you want
more followers” Really. This is what you care about. This is how you spend your
free time. Just seeing how many people you can get to click that button no
matter who they are. And then there’s the fact that you can’t edit a fricken
tweet so if you do make a typo you can never ever fix it without deleting the
tweet and retweeting it and honestly, who has time for that nonsense?
But in all seriousness, what the hell are people supposed to
do with this thing called twitter? There’s just so much advice that contradicts
itself. And with marketing in general, you’ll have people who will swear by one
method, and others who will swear by the exact opposite. I guess you just have
to find out what works for you, and ignore the bullshit. What do you think of
twitter and marketing?
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