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How Not To Succeed In University

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1. Stay up late, then wonder why you're so tired for your 9am class. 2. Watch YouTube videos instead of working on your essay, then wonder why you have no time. 3. Don't say a single word in seminar, then wonder why your participation mark is so low. 4. Avoid making eye contact with anyone, then wonder why you have no friends. 5. Play addictive iPad games instead of reading, then wonder why you can never finish books for your class. 6. Eat cake every night just because you can, and wonder why the washer shrunk your cloths.  7. Go out drinking all night on a Tuesday, then wonder why your Wednesday lecture makes no sense. 8. Don't think about your school work, because if you don't think about it, then it's not real and your Professor won't fail you. 9. Pretend to do your school work, and take a break every five minutes, then wonder why it takes you two hours to read one page. 10. Have sex in a public bathroom without locking the door, then wonder