How Not To Succeed In University

1. Stay up late, then wonder why you're so tired for your 9am class.
2. Watch YouTube videos instead of working on your essay, then wonder why you have no time.
3. Don't say a single word in seminar, then wonder why your participation mark is so low.
4. Avoid making eye contact with anyone, then wonder why you have no friends.
5. Play addictive iPad games instead of reading, then wonder why you can never finish books for your class.
6. Eat cake every night just because you can, and wonder why the washer shrunk your cloths. 
7. Go out drinking all night on a Tuesday, then wonder why your Wednesday lecture makes no sense.
8. Don't think about your school work, because if you don't think about it, then it's not real and your Professor won't fail you.
9. Pretend to do your school work, and take a break every five minutes, then wonder why it takes you two hours to read one page.
10. Have sex in a public bathroom without locking the door, then wonder why people yell "the horror!" when they see you outside of class.
11. Use your grants/scholarships/parents money on frivolous things, then wonder why you have no money for food.
12. Play loud music in your dorm during exam time, and then wonder why everyone gives you death glares when you walk down the hall.
13. Show up an hour late for your exam, and wonder why you didn't have time to finish it.
14. Sleep on your books instead of reading them, and wonder why you failed the test.
15. Don't go to any of your lectures, then wonder why your professor doesn't know who you are.

I hope this post made you laugh! If you have any suggestions on how not to succeed in university, tell me in the comments! I know, I'm using too many explanation points aren't I!? Have a great day or night!