Monday, 28 April 2014

18 Signs You Hate People

I Hate People
1. When people make plans with you, the day of the plans you are conveniently away from your phone.

2. When someone throws you a surprise party you thank them and then quietly sneak away and call the police.

3. You take the saying "three's a crowd" to heart.

4. You start to think that orphans have a pretty sweet deal.

5. You live in the country just so you don't have to talk to anyone even though you hate trees. and bugs. and just nature in general.

6. You make up a rare disease just so you have an excuse when your friends ask you to hang out. Assuming you have friends, that is.

7. You lie to your family and tell them you're going to a friend's house when really you'd rather be forced to endure a nine hour loop of "kitty kitty you're so pretty pretty."

8. You treat inanimate objects like they are your true friends and in a fire you'd save their "life" rather than, you know, an actual person.

9. You run away from home to go live with a pack of wolves.

10. You do everything online. School. Shopping. Food. Drugs.

11. You'd rather email someone and wait two business days for a return rather than pick up a phone and talk to *gasp* a real human.

12. You wouldn't mind if a second flood happened and wiped out half the population. In fact, you already have an arc ready in anticipation

13. Your definition of social is crazy people.

14. You don't own a phone. Or a mail box. And rip the numbers off the side of your house with vigor.

15. When someone sees you on the street you run in the opposite direction like a Chihuahua that just realized pretty much any animal can kill him.

16. You worship the person who invented text messaging and curse the person who invented Skype.

17. You seriously considered selling your soul to the devil just so you wouldn't have to see another person, like, ever, in your life.

18. You think to yourself I Hate People!

 Do you hate people? All the time? Sometimes? Never? Let me know in the comment section below!

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