Friday, 8 August 2014

How To Build Your Confidence

A long, long time ago, I had to do something I didn't want to do. I had to go to the dreaded place where doctors reside. Yeah, I know, doctors are supposed to make sure your healthy and all that crap we tell ourselves to make us feel better. But lets face it, no one wants to go to the doctor.

15225690485 f3231f373cI wouldn't say that I was actually afraid to go, but I was definitely nervous. I don't know why, maybe I have some subconscious fear that I'll go to a doctor and they'll tell me I'm dying. But enough about me, I'm here to tell you some ways that you can boost your confidence so that you can get through the hard things. Like going to the doctor. (Just a side note, I really do appreciate all that doctors do, even if I don't necessarily want to go to them).

Tip # 1 Tell yourself that you can do it. That you are confident. That you have the power! Yeah, okay, it sounds like B.S., but seriously, it works. If you tell yourself something long enough, you really do start to believe it. Word of advice, this also works if you tell yourself negative things, so watch that. It's funny though, I keep telling myself that I'm rich, and it just doesn't seem to happen. Meh. Maybe it only works for things you can't actually see...like being confident!

Tip # 2
Imagine your worse case scenario. Okay, so this may seem counter-intuitive, but it's designed to make you realize your worrying over nothing. And when I say "worse case scenario" I mean be realistic. For example, let's say you have to make a presentation of some sort for an audience. Don't be like: I get up on stage (or wherever) and then I forget my lines, and then everyone laughs, and then my pants fall down and I wasn't wearing my good underwear, and then I run away in shame and realize I'll have to move to another city under the cloak of darkness, maybe another country and change my name and my hair, and then as I'm thinking about this and not looking where I'm going I run into the street without looking get hit by a car and die and forever be remembered as that person who couldn't give a presentation who died with their pants around their ankles. Be more like: okay, I get up on stage, I forget what I have to say so I look at the notes I prepared before, I stumble on a few words, I'm nervous, maybe a couple people laugh but probably not, and most likely not in a mean way, then it's over. Then I go sit down. Then most people forget it even happened or they only retain the information because they have to. Then no one really cares that your presentation wasn't up to par and you can forget it ever happened. Unless it was so bad it was YouTube worthy and someone filmed it. Then your screwed.

Tip # 3
Envision the best case scenario. Yes. This is a direct opposite to the tip above, but it can work. Not everyone's minds think alike. Some people need to be super positive all the time or they'll, like, die, from not getting their daily dose of: believe in yourself, and you can do anything even if everyone you meet tells you that you're delusional! But anyway, this one is simple. Just imagine the best case scenario. Sticking with the presentation example, it goes something like this: you get up on stage. Your hair and clothes are absolutely perfect today. Your well rested, bright eyed, and ready to give the best presentation in the world. You open your mouth to speak and it is like listening to an angel for the audience. Your every word captures them. When you finish, you receive a standing ovation that lasts for twenty minutes, and multiple people propose marriage to you. Then you walk back to your seat with style, satisfied that you finally know what it feels like to be appreciated on the same level as a god. Or something like that. You get the picture.

Tip # 4
Pretend you are an actor or actress. Pretend that this thing you don't want to do, is really just a performance. You're really just playing a character. You don't actually have to do that presentation, your character has to do that presentation. Think of it almost like an alter ego. You can even have fun with this and spend time crafting the perfect character. Just don't go overboard and start thinking that you are your alter ego and you forget your real self, and then your friends and family are forced to tell you you're crazy and send you to the the loony bin. It would make a great reality TV show though. Am I right?

Tip # 5
Remember past accomplishments. Even if you don't think you have any, you do. Did you get out of bed this morning? Did you brush your teeth? Did you put on a pair of pants? If you did any of these, pat yourself on the back. Yeah, so most of the world does these things everyday, but so what? You managed to do them and that is worth celebrating. But seriously, people focus too much on what they didn't do or what they have to do and they don't think about what they did do. When you do something important, stop, slow down, and bask in the fact that you accomplished this thing. Have your own little celebration party. Congratulate yourself. Then use this to fuel your confidence for the next time you have to accomplish something. Having a list of past accomplishments is kind of a hard thing to ignore and can make it much easier to believe in yourself. Just don't be a pompous jerk and brag to the world about how great your accomplishments are and lord it over everyone. The world doesn't need more people like that. But they do need you and your humble but confident attitude.

Photo Credit: Koka_Sexton  Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up. via photopin (license)

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